Chicken Sh&t Bingo

Fulfilling a Quest

During my blog research, I sometimes unintentionally stumble upon that very special, quest worthy destination. By this, I mean that I have no immediate plans to visit this area. However, the subject matter is so good, so hyper-Americana, that I know I will make it happen sooner or later. To this end, I recently took my wife, Carol, on the Trifecta tour of the great state of Texas. I took a week to introduce her to the noteworthy Lone Star attractions from Dallas to Austin to San Antonio. I omitted Houston because they cheated in the World Series. Anyway, although the trip was about a week long, only one segment really mattered. Come Hell or high water, I was going to get to Ginny’s Little Longhorn Saloon in Austin on Sunday at 4pm. At this designated time and place, the quest was fulfilled. I give you Chicken Sh&t Bingo.

How it works

Thankfully, we arrived early because this place quickly got red neck crazy. However, we dressed accordingly. I had my PBR shirt and Carol wore her cowgirl boots. The inside of the bar had live music and became as packed as this little dive bar could handle. Therefore, the bingo event occurred behind the building. Once we moved to the back lot, we saw the bingo board. There were spectator tables and chairs surrounding the bingo board. Promptly at 4pm, the operators began selling numbered tickets that coincided with the bingo board.

Make no mistake, this is popular. They sold every square more than one time. They stopped selling tickets for a given round when they had no more paper tickets to give out. Once the tickets are sold out, the tensions begin to mount. And, the ticket holders gather round the board.

Enter the Gladiator!

Prior to putting the chicken on the board, the operators dump chicken feed all over the grid. I could not help but wonder if laxatives were involved. The knowledgeable regulars told me that was not necessary…”chickens need no help to take a crap.” Anyway, as you might expect, when the chicken enters the arena…things got loud. All the ticket holders were yelling at the chicken in an attempt to influence the dump.

Chicken Sh&t Bingo goes for four hours on each Sunday. Each round is about an hour. It takes about 45 minutes for hype, beer drinking and ticket sales. In the last 15 minutes, all the real action occurs. The chickens do not need the 15 minutes in the arena to get the job done. Usually, within 5 minutes of arena entry, the Game is OVER…

In this featured round, the chicken took a dump perfectly on the line. They actually sell some tickets just for this situation. Appropriately, these tickets read “LINE” rather than a number. The bingo squares sell for $2 and winners are paid $114. Not surprisingly, Carol and I won absolutely nothing in Chicken Sh&t Bingo. However, we had a wonderful time and spent plenty of money on beer…which is the whole point of the entire event.

Wrap It Up

The burning question that I took out of this mission was…why doesn’t every bar do this??? The bar was packed. The bartenders sold as much beer as physically possible. All you need to make the event happen is a parking lot, a bingo grid/chicken cage and a few chickens. Where zoning allows, this event is a gold mine. Be that as it may, Chicken Sh&t Bingo did not disappoint. Fulfillment of this quest was 2 years in the waiting. Beyond the mission quest, the afternoon was obviously a true romantic event for my wife. She got to drink Lone Star beer with me, wear her cowgirl boots and watch Dolly poop. Few experiences that I have had will ever compare to Chicken Sh&t Bingo. Have a wonderful day. PT

I hope you have enjoyed reading “Chicken Sh&t Bingo” on Traveling with PugsleyTonks.

If you liked critter and tavern posts, here was another… https://travelingwithpt.com/going-low-key-at-big-pine-key/

Here’s the bar for your own travel planning… https://thelittlelonghornsaloon.com/