Going low-key at Big Pine Key

November 20, 2021 PT

A Blue Hole that’s not so blue.

During my recent trip to Florida, I overheard whispers of the largest freshwater lake in the Florida Keys. This lake, I was told, was off the beaten path and the perfect place to see the illusive and endangered Key Deer as well as alligators, snakes, iguanas, and other dangerous swamp critters. Enough said. Carol and I were going low-key at Big Pine Key.

The Blue Hole of Big Pine Key is what is left of an old limestone quarry. When quarry operations ended, a big hole was left behind and two things happened. First, it accumulated rainwater. Second, the limestone filtered salt from the surrounding sea water and the big hole became The Blue Hole – the largest freshwater source in the area. Not surprisingly, the local wildlife are really into freshwater. Enough so, that it was declared a national wildlife refuge.

So, we went to the Blue Hole. We stood on the observation deck. We circumnavigated the attraction.

NOTHING. ZIP…ZILCH…NADA… except for bugs. There were no endangered Key Deer, no alligators, nothing of interest in sight. It wasn’t even particularly pretty, as you can see, with greenish water that looked a bit stagnant.

Therefore, dear readers, I ruled the blog mission failure. And as you all know, the only way to recover after a failed blog mission is to get to the nearest bar and salvage some fun.

You Sure They are Endangered?

Still reeling from our disappointing stop at the Blue Hole, a funny thing happened on the way to the local pub in Big Pine Key. We came across deer crossing signs. More than that, we must have seen every deer sign ever created. Further on, we encountered fences raised along the road, to protect the deer. Evidently, it must all be for these endangered Key Deer.

Why go to such trouble? I have been to the Blue Hole. This refuge is devoid of life. If you can not see them, find them…how can you run over them? Then, we approached the pub. Amazingly, the endangered suddenly seemed far from endangered…

These things were everywhere. Every yard had a few. Furthermore, they enjoyed hanging out in the road. Once, I had to make Carol get out to shoo them away. Hanging out on the street… near a pub… seems like the best way to become endangered. Its natural selection at work! I later found out that 71% of the annual deer mortality is due to road kill. DUH! Get into the refuge, and stay away from the drunks!

Beer (and deer?) at the No Name Pub.

Let’s make one thing clear. The pub is not to blame. I really liked this place…

To begin with, the No Name Pub at Big Pine Key has a great history. In the early years, there was no road that reached this key. You had to take a ferry from Marathon. As such, the lower keys were a remote, lawless area for hunting, fishing, drinking and other things. The No Name Pub was the ferry stop and focal point for this debauchery. It was a bar, restaurant, general store, bait shop, with a brothel on the second floor. One stop shopping for that he-man weekend get-away. Regrettably, the brothel is no more. However, the interior of the No Name Pub does not disappoint…

Yes, that is real money. Guests to the No Name Pub often staple a dollar bill to the ceiling or a wall. However, no one could explain how the practice started, and I saw this in three different bars across the Keys. But, the No Name Pub seems to have the biggest cache. Estimates for the No Name range between $400-500K. Sounds like a nice retirement plan for the owner.

So, the next time you find yourself near Big Pine Key, take it from me. Skip the lifeless wildlife refuge and stop by the No Name Pub. Enjoy a beer (no PBR available), have a pizza and see some deer. Leave a dollar or $2 and try not to run over any “endangered” Key Deer on your way home. Have a wonderful day. PT

I hope you have enjoyed reading “Going low-key at Big Pine Key” on Traveling with PugsleyTonks.