Surviving the Gauntlet
Just Laughs and Giggles
WARNING…This post has no deep meaning. This post is strictly for laughs and giggles, supported by funny animal pictures.
A couple months ago, I tagged along with my beloved wife, Carol, to some state convention for her women’s group. Naturally, I did not attend anything related to her convention. My plan was to just drop her off and wander northwest Ohio. I had a lot of time and my itinerary was not full. Therefore, when I saw the sign below about a drive through animal park, I thought…what the heck.
The drive through animal park brought back long ago childhood memories of a place called Lion Country Safari somewhere in Florida. So, I paid the admission and drove in. Once you have spent your money and are inside the perimeter fence, you get to see the next sign regarding vehicle damage. A smarter person may have rethought their decision and made a hasty retreat. But, I ventured on. I quickly realized this was not about a relaxed animal adventure. Rather, this was solely about surviving the gauntlet.
Let the Gauntlet Begin
For some context, you are supposed to drive through the park in two lanes, one car after the other. However, as I tend to do, this was still the off season for the park. So, there were very few cars. So, when you got near the animals, you were greatly out numbered and you got their FULL attention. The animals absolutely knew that each car got a cup of feeding pellets with the price of admission. ..
After they fully surround your vehicle, you realize several things quickly. One, trying to drive, feed the beasts and take pictures is a very difficult thing. Second, I was not in control of the situation, the beasts were. If you were stupid enough (as I was) to have you window down and attempt to feed them…there was going to be chaos at your window. The warning about vehicle damage came mind as their horns smashed against the side of my truck. Do not be surprised if a giant cow head gets way more inside your vehicle than you ever intended. And, watch out for the tongue!
I realized that trying to share the food pellets fairly among the animals was hopeless. Furthermore, that approach only encouraged them to jostle the side of my truck with their horns. So, I dumped pellets, rolled up my window, and hoped they would go away. Well, they were in no hurry to go anywhere. I was 50 yards into the park and I was not sure I was going to move any farther. Then, it dawned on me…my truck weighs more than they do. Spare me your animal cruelty thoughts…but, I started bumping them to escape. Relax…it was not hard. But, it did seem to create the opening for my escape.
What Now?
After the first 100 yards, my food pellets were long gone. So, I just proceeded cautiously with my window half way up to avoid another massive cow head in my lap. Thankfully, the next group of animals were much smaller. They were mostly little deer or something similar. I kept my window mostly up and muscled through them. But, then came the buffalo…
I have done my share of buffalo encounters in the National Parks out west. Usually, if you do not harass them…they will not destroy your vehicle. But, these buffalo expected food and I had chucked all my pellets at the first big cows. Getting through the buffalo seemed a bit risky to me.
I am pretty sure that the buffalo on the right probably out weighed the car behind me. I had no desire to have that head in my truck. Anyway, as I had no food and kept my window mostly up, I was able to get through the buffalo without additional truck damage.
Wrap It Up
After the buffalo, things lightened up considerably. There was a giraffe that you could feed. But, I had no food to entice him. There was also a mini zoo and dinosaur park at the end of the gauntlet.
Anyway, that is about if for the Afican Safari Wildlife Park in Port Clinton, OH. If you choose to do, be sure to go in someone else’s car. Surviving the gauntlet is best accomplished with one person driving, one feeding and one taking pictures. I hope this post gave you got some laughs and giggles. Have a wonderful day. PT
I hope you have enjoyed reading “Surviving the Gauntlet” on Traveling with PugsleyTonks.
Here was another post just for laughs and giggles https://travelingwithpt.com/the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/
If you dare want to attempt surviving the gauntlet in your car… https://www.africansafariwildlifepark.com/
